LeXXX’s Boyfriend Application Test

March 11th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in LeXXX on Love and Lust

In search of Shanghai’s most eligible men, LeXXX has created her own boyfriend application text and posted in on Craigslist.

Will she find the man of her dreams or will Craigslist only scrape the lowest form of XY chromosomes from the bottom of the barrel. Check back in next week to find out.
In First, a little about me: I’m a down-to-earth expat girl from Europe who has been living in Shanghai for nearly 3 years. I’m tired of wasting my time on blind dates and talking to guys in clubs, just to find that they are far from being suitable for me.

So, to save time and energy, I have formulated this questionnaire with which I hope to distinguish those of you with whom I may be compatible to those of you who are not worth my time.

Part A

1) You must be born male. I need to see a birth certificate.

2) You must own something to wear to big family reunions (my sister is getting married this summer and I do not wish to bring along a tramp as a date).

3) You should not exclusively wear fake-market clothes.

4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will, of course, need to be conducted.

5) I can’t accept a regular drug user (occasional drugs users may still apply).

6) You should measure at least 1m 72cm. You need to look presentable standing next to me. (Your height must be proportional to your weight using the replica Oakleys standard AMA guidelines).

7) You have to have lived in Shanghai for at least one year and plan on staying here for at least a few more years.

8) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months. (no pic = no reply)

10) You must speak English and cheap oakleys preferably at least one other language.

11) You must not be afraid of commitment. If I pick you, you’re in it for the long run.

If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.

Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet

Part B

1) You must have a good command of Chinese (if you reply to me in Chinese = +2)

2) You play at least one sport/ do some sort of exercise regularly.

3) You have skills in bed (and are not selfish about using them). Not because you think you do, but because your past experiences have told you you do.

4) You are not over-the-top religious.

5) You don’t need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.

6) You know how to cook a meal for two and pick good wine to go with it.

7) You like planning and organising fun and adventurous events/ day trips/ activities.

8) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining.

9) You have a great sense of humour. If you don’t make me laugh I’ll simply find you terrible boring.

10) You can plan a good date without any Fake Oakleys help or advice from me. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” isn’t an answer. (And always going back to ‘windows’ is no good either.)

11) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.

12) You have a secure, well paid job

15) You ride a motorbike and are not afraid of Shanghai’s traffic.

16) You have a 5 year goal.

17) You aren’t afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.

18) You’re competitive, and I don’t mean you like to battle it out with your buddies on
the weekends.

If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately: lexxxsquared(at)gmail.com. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don’t have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.

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