How to Deal With Police Shutting Down Your Houseparty

March 9th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Learn Chinese with the Drunken Dragon

China likes to do everything first. Its global position guarantees an eight-hour head start on the Western world, but even Shanghai expats living within the same time zone can feel a little left behind at times.
 
The locals wake up earlier than us laowai for their 5am tai qi in the park.  They have dinner earlier than us laowai, meaning the restaurant is packed when we show up at 6:30pm.  Concerts even start early, Usher at 7:30? Seriously?!
 
Most significantly, the Chinese definitely go to bed earlier, as any person that has ever attended a house party can attest to.  After 10pm all bets are off and the police are liable to show up for any infraction that deviates from what’s considered normal weeknight behavior.  
 
So, when the cops inevitably bust into your late [or not so late] night house party here are a few things you can say to send them on their way.
 
The music’s not too loud, my neighbors just have sensitive ears
Yin yue bu shi hen chao, wo de ling ju de er duo tai ming gan le.
 
 
If he’s not in the mood to joke, you can play it straight and tell him…
 
OK Ok, I’ll turn down the music
Hao de ,wo hui ba yin yue guan diao
 
If the neighbors are persistent, or he just cant get enough of your hoppin’ party you can always make small chat…
 
Would you like a beer while you wait?
Ni deng de shi hou xiang yao he shen me me 
 
Can you teach us the dice game?
Ni neng jiao wo wan sha zi me
 
I think our apartment would make a nice KTV, what do you think?
Wo xiang wo men de gong  yu ke yi ban yi ge hen hao de KTV , ni ren wei ne
 
 
When the police do turn up, you can always make the best of the situation and ask  all those questions you’ve been always wondered…
 
Can I get in trouble for drinking in public?
Wo neng zai gong gong chang he he jiu me?
 
Do I need a license plate if I drive an electric scooter?
Wo  xu yao yi ge pai zhao me ,ru guo wo kai yi liang dian dong che
 
If I don’t register within 72 hours, will you really deport me?
Ru guo wo zai 72 xiao shi li mei you ban li zhu su deng ji, wo hui gei qu zhu chu jing me
 
 
Under pressure from the neighbors, and possibly being tired of your incessant questions the police insist you move your friends elsewhere.  Time to strike a deal…
 
We will leave in 10 minutes but why not sweeten the deal?
Wo men hui zai 10 fen zhong nei li kai ,na ni neng gei wo men shen me?
 
Can call us some cabs?
Ni neng bang wo jiao liang chu zu che me
 
As you roll out you can leave the kind copper with these parting words-
 
If the neighbors want us to be quiet at 10pm, then they need to be quiet at 6am.
Ru guo ling ju xiang rang wo meng zai 10 dian jiu an jing ,na ta men bi xu zai 6dian an jing.

 

Here is the moment when the police crashed the Shanghai Squared launch party.

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