How to Successfully Drunk Dial in Chinese

March 2nd, 2011  |  by  |  Published in Learn Chinese with the Drunken Dragon

Getting inebriated in Shanghai comes with a few unavoidable reflexes, street food shopping sprees (see our guide to street snacks), shot-gunning cans of Suntory outside Lawson’s and, of course, the inevitable late night drunk dialing session.

Most late night calls and texts provide little more than evidence of the previous night’s baijou fueled antics. However, if you can master drunk dialing in Chinese, late night Shanghai will be your oyster. Imagine a world where you could have McDonalds delivered at any hour and you could actually communicate with the bar tender whose number you just got. Here are a few pointers:

- Brandon Woods

 

1) Get some by saying little

It’s late and you’re drunk so focus on the quality of the message. Keep it short and simple.

DON’T use the cheesy and overplayed go-to “you are very pretty/handsome”. 

Ni hen piao liang/ ni hen shaui

你很漂亮  / 你很帅

DO cut straight to the chase.

“What are you doing right now/ Can I see you right now?” are timeless texts.

Ni xian zai zai gan shen me / wo xian zai neng jian ni me

你现在在干什么 / 我现在能见你么

Don’t forget, everyone loves a smiley face so throw in a  :-) or even a  (^_^)

 

2) Order late night snacks

Most drunk dials have a low success rate and high regret rate. But, thanks to McDonalds you never have to go home completely empty handed.Make mai-dan-lao / 麦当劳 (pin yin pronounciation for McDonalds) your late night sure-thing.

While street food (by nature) requires setting foot outside, McDonalds delivers 24/7 to your door (Tel: 4008-517-517). Be sure to order your Mai dan lao in the cab ride home so it’s waiting for you, and not the other way around.

TIP: Five-One-Seven sounds like “I want eat” in Chinese (wu-you-chi). If that still doesn’t work a more detailed guide to drunk ordering McDonalds and other fast food in China is available here.

 

3) If all else fails

Too blurry to deal with the anything Chinese? Drunk dial the Shanghai help line (Tel: 962-288). Their English is impeccable and they can translate for you on the spot. Pass the phone to your driver and say:

“Take me to the nearest bath house!”

Dai wo qu zui jin de yu shi

带我去最近的浴室

 

What’s the best drunk text you’ve received or sent?. Post below so we can all laugh with / at you!

Comments are closed.

     

Contact

To get in touch, email us at:

shanghaisquared@gmail.com