LeXXX on Lust and Love: The Truth Behind Online Dating

February 10th, 2011  |  by  |  Published in LeXXX on Love and Lust

Hard working girls, in a city where decent guys are few and far between, often turn to the world wide web in search of romance. Although there are numerous generic cialis 10mg choices, Smart Shanghai’s free dating service seems to be the popular choice for many. They have over 12,000 members, and the good news is that approximately 7500 of them are male.

Surely us girls can find a decent man on here?  Having had little personal experience with online dating, I questioned my good friend Lindsay on her experience of finding love online.

Had you tried online dating before you arrived in Shanghai?

Yes, at college but found that most of the guys were just online looking to cheat on their wives.  It was everything people said online dating was when it first came around – really seedy! It was such a turn off that I just ran away.

So why date online in Shanghai?

Well a friend of mine put it really succinctly: no one’s going to come to your door and knock. If you want to meet somebody you have to put yourself out there.

What are the online choices?

Well Craigslist Shanghai is the bottom of the barrel. SmartShanghai is pretty good, you’ve also got Shanghai Expat which I’ve had a really bad experience with. They tend to bother you a lot Vendita nuove maglie calcio poco prezzo with emails and you then have to pay to contact people. Other than that there’s not a whole lot. I guess there’s the marriage market out in People’s Square on a Saturday.

What’s the first step in online dating?

First thing you need is a good picture. I’ve tried several but the most responses I’ve had is to a sexy picture of me hanging upside down. Guys seemed to really respond to that.

Then you fill out a basic profile: height, Western and Chinese age, nationality, fitness level – are you a teddy bear or are you Arnold Swartzenegger? etc.

You also answer some basic questions but, as a female, you have to be careful with what you write because guys will take it seriously:

Then you list three venues you’re really fond of:

Then you have the “either or” section:


Combined it gives you a very broad general sense of someone. But what I’ve found is being attracted to the answers they’ve put down is actually a huge mistake – for me anyway. I’ll think someone’s really interesting then we’ll meet and I’ll be like “what was I thinking?”.

It’s like being attracted to someone based on their census report…it tells you nothing about who they are as the person.

How does online dating in Shanghai compare to your first attempt in the US?

I was so giddy to be in China and to be in this Shanghai expat community. I was like “OMG, I can’t wait. Guys are going to be all over me”. But then a couple of things happened:

First, I got answers from super creepy guys who I would never ever email. One guy’s user name was STDISR. His picture is of himself in a nightclub with his collar popped up, hair slicked back and looking (appropriately – Editor) like a guy who has STDs. He wrote to me at least six times…and his messages had this sort of oily feel to them.

The other thing that happened was I realised that Chinese guys were using the site to pretend that they were Western guys as a way to meet white women. What they do is find a picture of an European and American model. Then do their best to send a really sexy message in Chinglish.

After all this nonsense I put up the really sexy picture and guys just went ballistic. But then I realised that if your pictures is too sexy, guys just literally want you to come over to their house and do them. They wanted me to show up, drop panties and go for it – it was really really creepy! I learned that lesson that hard way.


Lindsay has a list of  date disaster stories which are too lengthy to detail here. From assholes to awkward guys, SmartShanghai.com has failed to find her a decent man in this city. This said,  other friends have found the love of their life online, so my advice would be not to knock it until logging on at least once. But be warned, STDISR is still out…


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